Codependancy

I had another

heart attack

today

 

In a moment

of panic

my heart was

gasping for a breath

that would never come

because it has

four chambers

and a want for

two lungs

 

to think these

necessary, life supporting

things

could be so fragile

and by closing,

tightening, the muscles

of my throat,

in a drawn out

two and a half

minutes

my brain, third wheel

tired respondant

could shut down

this whole

delicate operation

temporarily, or

permanently.

protagonist

A summary is

how every part

works together

fitting descriptions

tailored to people

they were not made for

 

But sometimes

on that blue moon

that hangs from darkness

every other day

a Someone

trots along

broken gate

smile of quirks

and no definition

above their head

a broken clock

still ticking

 

making us all wonder

how you could fit

infinity

inside of a box

semi-complex

I am 40% girl

30% sugar

15% stardust

and the rest

has been hanged

sent to

the dungeon

because I

am a fictional character

incapable of holding

myself to reasonable standards

 

In the fourth chapter

I reveal my tragic

backstory

that makes your heart clench

and eyes roll

because it is something

you’ve all seen before

I am a worksheet

a mix and match princess

that all the girls completed

during a middle school test

I am 15% nine years old

Litost, my dear

This is where we

fall apart, when

the sense that

burns and

scratches are

creeping up behind

you, when you wish

you were already

thrown in to the

depths of the ocean

instead of

wondering how

cold it will be this

year, and thinking

your problems are

made up until you

see everyone

waving at you,

above the water,

smiling with the

slightest concern,

when you feel one

of them reach

down and slap you,

still smiling, you try

and hide the red

marks on your

cheek, and don’t

know whether they

hate you for that,

you certainly aren’t

okay with it, but

would rather bleed

under cover, than wait

for the crows

to see the blood.

 

Sorry if that was depressing, sorry I haven’t posted in a few days, I needed to take some time away from the internet, I should be back more often, thank you for reading 🙂

Comfortable Silence

Do you ever feel strangely quiet inside? In the time you could be thinking so many things but your brain is the consistency of the clouds out your window and music plays at the back of your mind where you sit alone, in the middle of a room with the curtains drawn. A room where you could be dancing, where there should be laughter, and spilled drinks as thoughts pour from cracks in the walls while women stand on books so they don’t get their shoes wet. But instead it is still, the floor is creaking with water damage, and the power’s been cut off.

Is this peace? Or something else.