Sehnsucht

I worry too much

I’m stupidly brave with my life

I’d take my own before someone else’s

but I worry too much

About if my friends will make it home okay

If loved ones can cope

I can’t fix myself

and I can’t fix anyone else

so I worry, far too much

Because I feel their pain

more than my own

when they cry at night

I toss a piece of my heart

into the ocean

a tiny prayer

to time, and fate

So please, be careful

stay safe

come home

I worry about you too much

Storm without Calm

Do I have a home?
Am I allowed to?
when I’m so scared
that nothing is stable
if it becomes still
will I shatter?
because that is
still change
I like to know
that tomorrow
my bed
is still
my bed
and I can sleep
a little longer
I want to dream
that in the future
I am less afraid
of knowing that
stillness is a trait
that nothing
absolutely nothing
possesses

Open minded, for once

I’m sitting
on the couch,
smiling for real
my mom and
dad across with
dogs on the floor

It’s a lot
better than
hiding away and
crying in the dark
It took several
months, with relapses
and heartache
to spare

because I’ve found
that hating life
when you’ve only
a small pool
to draw from
makes it hard
to find something
to live for
but now I have something

where there was nothing,
and I’m not
all better yet
but I will be

and I hope
someday
you will be too

Torture

There are many
ways to break a
person, you might
draw their blood
break their bones
even pull their hair

but the truest
way is to do
it slowly, and
without violence,

just with words and
pictures, make them
remember the things
they want most to
forget, and take
away the things
they want to hold
on to,

To break runners
put them in the
dark, but put the
dreamers in broad
daylight, the painters
in a pre-patterned
cell

then draw out the
memory and erase
it, make them slow
and boring. This
will kill them fastest
because all the
while, they’re still
breathing, but not
living

And to breathe without living..

is still death..

Newton’s law

I want to hear a new sound
I want our secrets
to be more than we are
You burn me from
a distance, with
the gravity of stars

I want our bones to melt
into constellations,
to drink words
and this darkness

to only be a hallucination..

As the music got
louder, and blood
dripped from my ears,
I had this strange realization
that I missed your
all-consuming chaos..

..And I want you here

Now and Here

This ground is
no more than
a battery-operated
way to see
the texture of want
and
how to catch
time on a hook
but the reel always
plays bad memories..

Is there
a right way
to laugh? if so
could you capture it
with a pen
and bleed humor
onto paper..?

This place will
whisper,
draw us close, and
color us in
with bright,
sad colors
and dull,
well used
happy ones..

Should we escape
these slow
paced promises
and retreat
towards the light
less we learn
something..?

Weight

We are
anchored
by different
gravities
seperated
we stand,
unstable
and
unable
to meet
in the
middle

I am drawn
towards
the sky,
you are
grounded
I will sit
on the roof
and talk to you

But..

If you will fly
then I
will fall
for you
and erase
impossible,
a word
we once believed

will you
meet me,
and live life
in anti-gravity?