Codependancy

I had another

heart attack

today

 

In a moment

of panic

my heart was

gasping for a breath

that would never come

because it has

four chambers

and a want for

two lungs

 

to think these

necessary, life supporting

things

could be so fragile

and by closing,

tightening, the muscles

of my throat,

in a drawn out

two and a half

minutes

my brain, third wheel

tired respondant

could shut down

this whole

delicate operation

temporarily, or

permanently.

protagonist

A summary is

how every part

works together

fitting descriptions

tailored to people

they were not made for

 

But sometimes

on that blue moon

that hangs from darkness

every other day

a Someone

trots along

broken gate

smile of quirks

and no definition

above their head

a broken clock

still ticking

 

making us all wonder

how you could fit

infinity

inside of a box

semi-complex

I am 40% girl

30% sugar

15% stardust

and the rest

has been hanged

sent to

the dungeon

because I

am a fictional character

incapable of holding

myself to reasonable standards

 

In the fourth chapter

I reveal my tragic

backstory

that makes your heart clench

and eyes roll

because it is something

you’ve all seen before

I am a worksheet

a mix and match princess

that all the girls completed

during a middle school test

I am 15% nine years old

Litost, my dear

This is where we

fall apart, when

the sense that

burns and

scratches are

creeping up behind

you, when you wish

you were already

thrown in to the

depths of the ocean

instead of

wondering how

cold it will be this

year, and thinking

your problems are

made up until you

see everyone

waving at you,

above the water,

smiling with the

slightest concern,

when you feel one

of them reach

down and slap you,

still smiling, you try

and hide the red

marks on your

cheek, and don’t

know whether they

hate you for that,

you certainly aren’t

okay with it, but

would rather bleed

under cover, than wait

for the crows

to see the blood.

 

Sorry if that was depressing, sorry I haven’t posted in a few days, I needed to take some time away from the internet, I should be back more often, thank you for reading 🙂

Comfortable Silence

Do you ever feel strangely quiet inside? In the time you could be thinking so many things but your brain is the consistency of the clouds out your window and music plays at the back of your mind where you sit alone, in the middle of a room with the curtains drawn. A room where you could be dancing, where there should be laughter, and spilled drinks as thoughts pour from cracks in the walls while women stand on books so they don’t get their shoes wet. But instead it is still, the floor is creaking with water damage, and the power’s been cut off.

Is this peace? Or something else.

Home

Lauren Marie Yogi

Home is my heart song.  Ever since I moved to San Diego, I have been meditating on the concept of “home” – which means something different for everyone.  The following poem will take you on an abstract adventure as I attempt to capture the essence of home.

The word “home”
paints a picture in your mind
An idea
Constructed by you.

home tells a story that’s true
it casts shadows on the ground
from which it grew.

home grows
and stretches
in all directions
but stays rooted.
Home endures.

Home buds and blooms
Reaching for the sun
through the sidewalk cracks-
Home persists.

home naps in a hammock
beneath the trees
and hums along with the breeze.
Home frees.

Home fills the stadium on a Saturday night
-Cheering- (Geaux Tigers!)
any excuse to throw a party
Home celebrates.

Home watches the clouds
and wrestles the leaves
-Earth breathes –

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Sempiternal

Light,
like most
holy things
sounds lonely
because
to be
set apart
and to shine
is to be
able to
see, everyone
watching
without
understanding

but Light,
feels like
bed sheets
freshly washed
and folded
by a loved one
or the lamp
next to
a reading
chair
at the
library

The taste
is that of
your first kiss
in the rain
and what
the butterflies
in your stomach
are fluttering
towards

It smells
like the first
day of spring
and the last
day of fall,
of fabric softeners
and sips of coffee
on your way
to work
or how
thunderstorms
leave electricity
and your bare
arms, raw
and filled
with determination
or fear

But never
ever forget
how Light
burns, like
the first
bonfire
from that summer
when you were six
or stings
like the static
left on soft
sweaters
and old
carpet
Because Light
chases away
the dark
and in doing so
it might just
chase away
a little
of you
as well.

Sophrosyne

Never be ashamed
of your freckles,
People love the sky
for all its constellations

Don’t be afraid
to smile, with dimples
the holes in your cheeks
are gateways to your heart

Always remember,
brown eyes are
every colour
at once, the whole
rainbow, on your face

And know, that
no matter what
you look like,
we are all, wonderfully
fearfully
made, as humans

Nothing less,
and So much more